Let’s Get Vulnerable

This is my journey to vulnerability. 

The word vulnerable has its roots in the Latin word: vulnus.

Vulnus means an injury, trauma, or wound. 

No wonder why the word vulnerable has been something we all want to avoid. Who wants to be injured? Not me. 

Let’s leave the word vulnus to our ancient ancestors and the medical field for literally meaning a wound. 

Our ancient ancestors were very “vulnerable” to outside forces that do not exist in our modern days. 

Most of us reading this are blessed enough to live in areas where we feel pretty safe that we will not be attacked by a wild animal, or another tribe trying to take our lands. 

So what do I mean by the “Modern Vulnerable?”

The Modern vulnerable is a place inside of your heart that is willing to love so deeply that you risk it getting hurt. 

The place where you speak your truth without fear of judgment. 

The place where expressing your true self is more important than any criticism that will come of it. 

The place you feel free to wander, knowing there could be a pain, but you’ll go there anyway. 

Why would you risk being criticized? Judged? Someone breaking your heart? Someone making fun of you because of your interests? 

Because unfortunately people will criticize you and try to hurt you no matter what you do. 

If you aren’t being truthful, then how will you receive the truth? 

If you’re not falling deeply in love, how will someone fall deeply in love with you? 

Why do we hold back? If you feel yourself falling in love with someone and don’t want to, doesn’t it still hurt when we run from it? 

I spent years and years running.

You know that lump feeling in your throat when you fight back tears? It was so hard to breathe for so long because I was constantly pushing that lump back down. 

Boy oh boy, did that lump build up and consume me to the point where I was forever bloated with tears trying to come out. 

I didn’t get too close to friends or tell them too much about myself, for fear of judgment or that they would think the way I saw the world was weird. I am not sure why. I just kept everyone at a distance. 

I didn’t know that was hurting me. 

I didn’t know that it was also hurting them. 

I absolutely pushed any potential lovers away and wondered why I was always being pushed away. 

I will never forget the first time I poured my eyes out in front of my good friend or the time I got really mad about something and cried in front of my mother. It felt so good. 

It felt so good to let go and get my true feelings out. 

It was like purging poison. 

Little by little healing myself. 

Next, I had a circle of really amazing friends. 

How was this possible? 

Was I truthful because I found people that cared? 

Or did I decide to be truthful, and with that friendship came?

One friend told me she was so happy that I allowed her to help me heal through an emotional time in my life. 

She would call and ask if I needed anything. The usual answer is, “NO, I am ok.” All while knowing that my heart was screaming inside, “YES!” I need someone to be here for me. 

I actually asked her, “Can you bring me a smoothie?” I wasn’t eating and was so emotionally distraught, I couldn’t chew anything. 

She was over in 25 minutes with a green smoothie and sat with me for a good few hours. I immediately felt better. 

No one wants to feel lonely or isolated. It was mainly the company and knowing someone cared enough to stop and stand in line at whole foods to order me a smelly smoothie. 

It is a connection to other humans we crave. 

Turned out a few years later, she needed the same support from me. 

I was honored that she was so truthful and allowed me into her heart.

Think about it. When someone shares their truth with you, it is like handing you their greatest gift: their heart, on a delicate platter. 

This is why we respect passionate and soulful musicians and artists. Their expressions of the heart and the honor we have to receive it is so beautiful. 

Vulnerability is a gift.

Taking and receiving. 

Yin and Yang.

This is what makes us closer. 

The more I know my true self and the less I care if others approve, the more I feel closer connections. 

Connected to the earth, the universe, other humans, animals, angels, God. 

I urge us all to feel honored when someone is vulnerable and to protect them. 

In turn practice your “Modern Vulnerable,” beautiful self and just see what happens. 

This was me being super vulnerable, btw. 

I would love to hear all about your vulnerable thoughts, struggles, or awakenings!